Self Entombment is a Lie

Seigneur,
Que ce cierge que je fais bruler devant toi sois lumineux
Pour que tu m'eclaires dans mes difficultes et decisions qui me font peur
Pour que tu brules en moi tout egoisme, et tout impurete, qu'il soit flamme
Pour que tu rechauffes mon coeur, et m'apprenne a aimer.

I have been a whirlwind of worry, because I have been rehearsing for my death while I am still alive. How stupid is that, well that was my self defence mechanism kicking in. I just realised this doesn't work. It frightens me to realise that people still feel at 40, 50, 70, 80. That is, outward dessication belies the fact their hearts still ache and desires still burn. So my fortressed heart may yet be besieged by future pain, and my journey in this world may well not yet be ended when my little firebird is ready to fly out of her nest. So my Lord sent me someone to illuminate the way, and present this prayer from across the ocean.

I have changed it a bit because the handwriting was so squiggly but the sense of it is there, I think: A prayer to the Lord, to teach me how to love, and so come back to life again.